That fictitious scene may have raised quite a few eyebrows. But the sad truth is that scenarios just like this are regularly being played out in millions of homes nationwide. Men of every background—married, single, old, young, rich, poor, black and white—participate in Internet pornography, online sex chat rooms, adulterous or homosexual affairs, and an array of other licentious activities every day.Thousands of readers monthly
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Helping Men Wage War Against Sexual Impurity
Book Cover
Robert S. Scott, Sr. - General Editor
Los Angeles, CA (ChristianPRgroup) - The pornography epidemic is spreading like cancer on steroids. This plague is not confined by boundaries because it has touched many nations. It is not restricted by resources because there are outbreaks in every economic level from the ghettos of the cities, the condos of the suburbs, to the mansions along the shores. It is not limited by race because people of every shade can become its victims.
In 2005 Grammy Award winning, gospel music phenomenon Kirk Franklin shared his addiction to pornography with millions.
Each second $3,075.64 is being spent on pornography. The pornography industry is larger than the revenues of the top technology companies combined, including Microsoft, Google, Amazon, eBay, Yahoo!, Apple, Netflix, and EarthLink.
The kids are tucked in for the night. Your wife is in bed. So you decide to catch up on some work.
Alone in your office downstairs, your mind wanders as you think about seeing “her” again. As beads of sweat form on your brow, you quickly glance over your shoulder. You’re safe. Your wife is still upstairs.
Before long, your heartbeat is pounding into your throat, racing as fast as your thoughts of being with “her” just once more. A familiar voice in your head quietly urges, “Don’t do it.”
“I’m not doing anything wrong, am I?” you ask yourself.
As your foot seems to tap a hole into the hardwood floor beneath your desk, you click on the mouse. The sound seems to reverberate throughout the room. Your heart is about to explode. Your body is on fire. And you can’t contain your thoughts anymore as you anticipate seeing “her” again…
Sexually immoral behavior, like a serpent slithering through tall grass, is an insidious stalker just waiting for its chance to strike a deadly blow. Death and devastation—everything from disease, guilt, humiliation, and depression to shattered families and lost trust—are always left in its wake. And because of its shameful nature, sexual deviance is almost always shrouded in secrecy—making it even harder for those struggling to break free and get help.
Sexual immorality, even among professing Christians, is very widely reported. Homosexual pastors. Deacons “shacking up.” Some believer soliciting prostitutes. And so on. The statistics are quite alarming:
The problem of sexual immorality isn’t a new one for the church, said Robert S. Scott, Sr., general editor of Secret Sex Wars: A Battle Cry for Purity (Moody Publishers, 2008). But with the constant degradation of morals, desensitization of society in general, and the pervasiveness of sexually provocative images, music lyrics, and other lures—particularly through the Internet—the problem has escalated to epidemic proportions.
“Back in the day, if you wanted to go to a peep show it was humiliating. You had to put on a long trench coat, a false beard, and some funny glasses and a hat, and sneak in there if you were a Christian,” said Scott, pastor-teacher of Los Angeles Community Bible Church in Los Angeles, CA. “But now what pornography has done via the Internet has made it so accessible. You don’t have to go outside of the comfort of a closed door in your home or even your office at work. It’s right there.”
Scott and six other pastors from the L.A. area wrote Secret Sex Wars to confront the growing problem of sexual impurity in the church with sound biblical guidance and personal testimonies to help men resist and overcome sexual temptation.
In God’s eyes, sin is sin, Scott noted. It doesn’t matter if it’s cold-blooded murder, grand larceny, or a little creative accounting at tax time. It’s still sin. But sexual sin reaches a depth that others don’t, he said, pointing to 1 Corinthians 6:17-19, which says:“17But the person who is united to the Lord becomes one spirit with Him. 18Shun immorality and all sexual looseness [flee from impurity in thought, word, or deed]. Any other sin which a man commits is one outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. 19Do you not know that your body is the temple (the very sanctuary) of the Holy Spirit Who lives within you, Whom you have received [as a Gift] from God? You are not your own…(AMP, emphasis added)”God’s Holy Spirit dwells in the believer’s body. Scriptures repeatedly refer to the dwelling place of God as “holy” and those who defiled His temple were usually dealt with very harshly. But for Christians stuck in this world of “1-800-DIAL just about everything sinful,” living according to God’s high standard is extremely difficult. An intense war is raging between sexual temptation and the holy lifestyle that God commands. The battle is particularly difficult for Christian men, according to Anthony D. Kidd, another contributor in Secret Sex Wars.
“Sexual sin is a unique temptation and challenge for Christian men,” said Kidd, pastor of Westside Bible Church and a professor at the Los Angeles Bible Training School, both in LA. Furthermore, he added, “This is an equal opportunity vice. It’s not just older men or middle-age men. It hits the young men and even teenagers, married and single men as well.”WINNING THE WAR
For men caught in the bonds of sexual sin and the pastors, wives, family, and friends who love them, the authors of Secret Sex Wars offer the following advice to help you break free:Seek salvation through Jesus Christ.
Being truly “born-again” is essential to defeat the secret war, Kidd said. Churches across America must get back to preaching the Gospel, pure and simple. “We have to make sure that the true Gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ is being preached, and being believed, and being clung to by not just men, but by women as well. It starts in the pulpit and then we work our way from there.” If people are not saved, he added, then “all they’re involved in, even if they’re fighting, is moral reform and that’s going to be a losing battle.”Share God’s forgiveness.
According to Romans 5:20-21, God’s grace is sufficient to cover any and every sin. “Do not let Satan convince you that your sins are so bad that God won’t forgive you or that you’re so far gone that God can’t help you,” said Kidd. “We know that the devil is a liar.”Exercise strict discipline.
God’s standard for purity is consistently high throughout the Bible. First Peter 1:15-16 admonishes, “15But as he which hath called you is holy, so be ye holy in all manner of conversation; 16Because it is written, Be ye holy; for I am holy. (KJV)” Church pastors and other leaders must adhere to this strict standard of discipline by modeling it themselves and stressing it from the pulpit.Practice being your “brother’s keeper.”
Galatians 6:1-2 reads, 1Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted. 2Bear ye one another's burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ. “We need to encourage each other with truth and be our brother’s keeper and love each other enough to share the truth very tactfully, very graciously,” said Scott. “Everybody needs to help everybody to win this battle.”Stop the cover-up.
Expose secret sins by “(shedding) the light of God’s Word on it,” said Kidd. “We know that Deacon So-and-so is shacking up with Sister So-and-so, but because he’s gifted no one wants to talk about it. We know that the piano player is on the down low, but because he can play the piano, so well nobody wants to talk about it. We just have to repent of our cover-up. We have to expose it for what it is.”Encourage men to be transparent with other men.
Men typically don’t feel comfortable sharing their sexual struggles with others, the authors agreed. “But the danger of the war is that it is a private one,” said H.B. Charles, Jr., pastor of Mt. Sinai Missionary Baptist Church in LA and another Secret Sex Wars contributor. Ecclesiastes 4:9-10, pointed out, informs us that “two are better than one.” He said forming men’s fellowships, support groups, and accountability partnerships will help me come out victoriously.
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Visit www.secretsexwars.com for more information and resources.Statistical Sources:
1 Data reported by Safe Families (www.safefamilies.org)
2 Data reported by University of Minnesota Morris (www.morris.umn.edu)
3 Data compiled by Pure Life Revolution (www.pureliferevolution.net)
4 Data provided by Urban Ministry (www.urbanministry.org)
